Education

Married couples get most of their laughter from TV sitcoms these days. In other words, they no longer generate their own laughter, but rely on TV to do it for them.
If you go to a restaurant, you can always pick out the married couples, they are the ones not talking to one another.
Laughter with each other is what couples need the most, even more so when relationships have somewhat cooled. Unfortunately, laughter increases more in a group than between two people.
A study found that people laugh 6 more times when in the company of one person, but this increases to 30 times when in the company of a group of people. Laughter establishes a positive emotional climate between a couple who enjoy each other’s company. In addiition to the pleasure and social aspects, laughter can subdue anger, stress and anxiety and therefor facilitate intimacy.
Dr. Robert R. Provine, Professor of Psychology and Neuroscience at the University of Maryland reports some interesting findings:
Laughter plays a role in mating. Men like women whom laugh heartily in their presence.
Females laugh 126% more than their male counterparts. Men are more laugh-getters.
The laughter in relationships declines dramatically as people age.
Like yawning, laughter is contagious; the laughter of others is irresistable.
If you ever browsed through the “Personal Ads,’ you would have noticed that 80% of women seek a partner with a ’sense of humor,’ an indication that a ’sense of humor’ is tops on womens’ lists of most desirable traits in a man.
Gerry Hopman is a Humorist, Motivational Speaker and Author, who believes that humor and laughter are essential in finding and maintaining balance in life and career.
To find out more about Gerry and his views on how humor and laughter positively impact on people’s lives, visit his web site at: humor-laughter.com

Diverse values, specialist development, varied experiences, a unique mindset – mix it up and include a touch of interpretation and you have a human being with a social outlook. Leveraging differences between people is a daily necessity of living in societies, and leveraging our own perspective of the world – and others in it – is one of the utmost challenges in pursuing a healthy and balanced lifestyle.
So how do we detach from our past experiences and values to see the world from a clearer perspective? The answer is simple: we don’t. What we need to do is critically analyse our own process of thinking, and pursue reason and appropriateness in our actions. Whilst willingness to help is a premise for counselling, willingness to adjust is a professional requirement – and the following overlapping stages discuss the process of becoming an effective counsellor, facing its challenges, surviving the experience, and learning from it.
Stage One: The Fundamentals of Professional Care There is a strong ethical component in any health-related profession, particularly ones which deal directly with consumers – in the case of counselling, the client. One of the most prominent aspects of becoming a professional counsellor lies in understanding the ethical guidelines of the profession, which in turn requires counsellors and prospective counsellors to be able to differentiate between ‘friendly advice’ and professional assistance. This is a challenging proficiency as it not only involves the process of learning which is intrinsic to any professional development (or training), but also remodelling the manner in which people naturally respond to a call for help: emotional and inevitably subjective feedback.
In order to cater for those needs, counsellor training involves a great deal of ethical background theory and practice which aims to develop the objective ‘eye’ – a demanded skill for counselling sessions. Such a methodical approach to interpreting human behaviour and individual needs is rooted in the development of early behavioural sciences.
Method in Counselling
What is ‘method’? Method (from Greek methodos or met hodos meaning “way across”) is a word which entered English in 1541 via French and Latin, and is defined as “a series of steps taken to complete a certain task or to reach a certain objective”. The methodical approach was induced by the need to share common guidelines in the observation and analysis of events, laying grounds for the advent of the scientific method – the central component of any modern science.
In the 19th century, the scientific method served to ‘unleash’ psychology from its bonds with philosophy and medicine – and the consequence was the advent of the original behavioural science. Counselling moved away from psychology and Freudian psychoanalysis in the early 1950s with the intent of enhancing the relationship between counsellor and client. The helping nature of the counselling approach set the standards for this newly adopted discipline – and increased focus was placed in nurturing the relationship with the client, encouraging client’s responsiveness, and developing a bond which would lay grounds for the client’s progressive development.
Stage Two: Becoming an Effective Counsellor
According to Meier and Davis (1997, p.61) “in no other profession does the personality and behavior of the professional make such difference as it does in counseling. Beginning counselors need to work at increasing their self awareness as well as their knowledge of counseling procedures. Your willingness to be open to supervision, to accept clients’ failures and criticisms, to participate in counseling yourself when appropriate, and to acknowledge your limits will contribute to your eventual success and satisfaction”.
Acknowledging Values
The client-counsellor relationship is fundamentally a relationship between two human beings. Obviously there are two different roles in the relationship but both counsellor and client have a history of experiences that have shaped who they are, how they view the world and what their values are.
An effective client-counsellor relationship does not ignore the “human” side of the profession. To establish trust, clients need to sense that the counsellors are genuine and sincere in their communications. But when they begin to suspect their own biases, conflicting values or judgements are influencing their work with a client, it is critical that they reflect upon this behaviour and seek to rectify it.
Critically reflecting in supervision, through journaling or personal inner work is required to establish an appropriate plan of action.
Recognising Limitations
It is easy for inexperienced counsellors to fall into the trap of feeling solely responsible for their client’s progress. Counsellors do not possess a magic wand to solve all of life’s problems and it is important to remember that ultimately it is the client that makes choices in their own life.
Counsellors can assist clients to think through options, explore motivators and hurdles, set goals, formulate plans of action and so on. A client, however, must assume the responsibility for taking actions in order to accomplish progress in their life.
There are many aspects of the counselling relationship in which it is important to recognise the limitations of counselling. When progress seems “stuck”, some of the best plans involve tolerating ambiguity, sharing responsibility with the client, re-establishing the role of the counsellor and/or sharing information with a supervisor.
Drawing the Line
Maintaining a critical perspective towards the counsellor-client relationship is essential in order to avoid emotional burnout, misjudgement and unproductive distribution of power. “A common mistake for beginners is to worry too much about clients. There is a danger of incorporating clients’ neuroses into our own personality. We lose sleep wondering what decisions they are making. We sometimes identify so closely with clients that we lose our own sense of identity and assume their identity. Empathy becomes distorted and militates against a therapeutic intervention” (Corey 2001, p. 34).
Reference:
Scientific Method Wikipedia. Retrieved on: 14/08/2006 – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scientific_method.
Meier, S., & Davis, S. (1997). The Elements of Counselling. Pacific Grove: Brooks/Cole.
Corey, G. (Ed). (2001). Theory and Practice of Counselling and Psychotherapy. Wadsworth: Thomson Learning.

© Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors. The Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors (AIPC) specializes in providing high quality counsellor education, with a particular focus on external and distance education.

There is a common misconception that anger management is only for people out of control or who are being “punished” for a crime and must complete a class as part of a disciplinary action. This fallacy could not be farther from the truth. Anger management is an umbrella term for a much larger category of education and training. While the media has commonly portrayed anger management as “dirty” or “punitive” it is actually a course that anyone could take to improve relationship skills.
Unfortunately, few people proactively take advance of the growth of anger management providers available and the skills which can be gained by completing a quality anger management class. Wouldn’t you want to improve communication skills, manage stress more effectively, improve judgment and impulse control and become more empathic towards others? Who wouldn’t? Anger management classes are aimed at teaching important skills to help improve interpersonal relationships. Anger can have lasting and long-term damaging effects on those around you who you care about. Anger can destroy a meaningful relationship over time. Don’t allow this to happen.
Our programs utilize the highly acclaimed Century Anger Management (CAM) model of intervention, which this author is the co-founder. CAM utilizes 8 core tools of anger control which include:
* Stress management
* Empathy Development
* Learning to respond instead of react
* Improving self-talk
* Assertive Communication
* Expectation Management
* Forgiveness
* Retreat and think things over
All anger management classes are structured and each participant will use our client workbook, “Anger Management in the Twenty-First Century”. Participants will also receive pre and post assessments at the beginning and completion of our programs. Anger management classes are ideal for individuals, couples, and families as well as business professionals and court ordered clients.

Have you ever had a pet in your life? You may be part of a minority group who answered NO, but there is still a good chance you have been involved with pets: your neighbour’s cat, your best friend’s dog, your cousin’s fish. Pets are everywhere: it is estimated that 65% of Australian households have a pet and a similar estimate applies in the United States. But why are we talking about pets?
Well, the answer is simple! People devote their time (all those walks along the beach), their hard-earned income (an estimated $20,000 for a pet which lives 10 years), and their emotional energy to their pets. Many view their pets as life companions, nurture and develop a relationship with them, even though they cannot carry out a conversation, tell an interesting story, or even help with cleaning the house. At the emotional level, pets are capable of providing unprecedented support. They can be your best friend.
The Primordial Bond
We need company. Human beings are social and highly-emotional therefore feel the necessity to share their lives with others. We are always looking for fulfilment through recognition, responsibility and attachment – and pets are able to provide that with great efficiency. Having a pet incurs being responsible for a living being, being attached to another animal which seemingly also presents emotion-induced behaviours and being recognised. And the best thing is that there aren’t any conflicts in food tastes, life goals or the TV channel that should be on!
Dogs, cats and other pets are also able to establish a harmonic relationship with highly introvert, non-sociable individuals. Some people suffer with the inability to relate to others, to express themselves or to build any rapport with other human beings. Pets are more flexible and are satisfied with anyone that cares about them. Do pets share human qualities or emotions? There are theories about instinctive behaviour, and theories about learning and relating. However, from the human perspective, it does not really matter. We love our pets just as they are.
We produce all kinds of assumptions about their personality (there is some paradox in affirming that animals actually have one), their needs (other than physiological), their perspectives of the world, and so on. We are happy to simply make those assumptions and believe they are the truth, and as long as the animal seems happy – then they ought to be true. At the emotional level, our personification of pet animals is so obvious that we name our dogs and cats Max, Jack, Oscar and Bella (believe it or not, the most popular names).
Learning and Socialising
Some say pets are good teachers. In fact, they can be. Pets allow humans to learn more about themselves. Why? Because we have to create various assumptions about them as they neither communicate effectively (some body language won’t do the whole job), nor have the same behavioural patterns. In this process, we are able to better understand our mindset towards the world: it is the same effect that a kid with a toy would experience, but on a larger scale.
Furthermore, we tend to evolve emotionally when constantly dealing with pets, even if they are not ours. They provide us with moments of joy and laughter, sadness and anger, and many other emotional states which will stimulate the awareness of our individual responses. Particularly when owned by children or young people, pets induce individuals to increasingly learn about important life concepts such as responsibility, accountability, loyalty, empathy and unconditional love. Such qualities are essential to a child’s healthy development.
Pet Therapy
Well, so far we’ve learned that pets can be teachers, mentors, friends, companions. How about therapists? This field is actually one of the most researched fields in the last decade, with psychologists and behavioural scientists conducting several research programs in clinical settings such as hospitals and nursing homes. It has been found that pets can vastly help patients by providing them with emotional support and motivation. It has been scientifically proven that laughter is a great supporting therapy: pets bring laughter to patients in good, moderate and severe conditions.
In animal-assisted therapy programs, a companion animal will visit patients with a trained caregiver (and the animal is also carefully screened for safety purposes). This process helps to improve both patient and staff morale towards the treatment outcomes. The animal becomes the centre of the attention, which helps release much of the stress related with the treatment. It is a win-win situation.
Good Medicine
Research has shown that animal companionship increases survival rates in groups of patients who have suffered cardiac arrest and it also improves the quality of life in many families. Animals require close care, and for that purpose, it requires physical and mental exercise.
Having a pet means walking more, grooming the animal, exercising problem-solving skills, planning, managing, and many other related activities. Inevitably – your neighbour’s cat, your best friend’s dog, your cousin’s fish or your own animal will remove you from your shell, and potentially turn you into a happier, healthier and more fulfilled person – and with no strings attached!
© Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors. The Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors (AIPC) specializes in providing high quality counsellor education, with a particular focus on external and distance education.

Raising four children very close to the same age, my husband and I always stressed over the college fees that awaited us.
By now, most of the parents know that unless you have a genius in your family, or a supper athlete, scholarship is a far fetched alternative.
I adore my children and think that they are all pretty smart and determined, but geniuses and supper athletes they are not. As they got older I realized that scholarship wasn’t the only issue. Now-days unless they have a GPA of 4.0 or greater a good university is not within their reach.
As my oldest daughter graduated from high school with a 3.6 GPA, my husband and I were elated when she was accepted to a reputable UC school. Elated and shocked, because many of her friends didn’t get in. You see 3.6 is not good enough now days.
My other daughter at about the same time announced that high school was not a place she wanted to be for the next two years, and she was determined to take a proficiency test and start attending community college.
Luckily for us, we have heard about the TAG program and thought it was a great idea. Both my son and my daughter took the proficiency exam and passed. At that time my husband and I were forced to make a decision, do we make them stay in school or allow them to go to college that year.
After few weeks of contemplation we decided that while our daughter who was 16 at the time was responsible enough to attend community college, our son, on the other hand who was 17 was to remain in school.
Fast forward a year and a half later, and I can happily report that this by all means was the right decision. Our daughter is doing great and is almost done with all of her requirements, she will have no trouble at all transferring to any UC or State school of her choice.
Our son has graduated High School and began his first year in community college. He is now much more wiser and grown up compared to last year.
If your kids are getting average grades, and not scoring supper points on the football field, I encourage you to look into this program in your community college. The program allows your child to complete two years of required units and transfer to University as a third year student. Your child has to be at least 16 years old to take the proficiency test. Even though this is probably not be the “college” experience your son or daughter is looking for, for the first two years, but it will take away not only financial burden away from you, but much of the stress on getting them into the “right” college.

Currently the only aspect of college that my husband and I stress over, is when our middle daughter transfers to the university of her choice, after two years of community college she will transfer as a Junior, which means that she will be graduating at the same time as our oldest daughter. We are now trying to figure out, who will attend who’s graduation, if they happen to be on the same day in two different cities.
But this is the kind of stress I can handle.
By Yana Berlin – Founder of the very first sorority for women in their prime. Join us as we embark on our journey to the best part of our lives. Visit us today at: www.fabulously40.com